Everything He ever makesdies.George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear themusic. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. } Who the fuck is going to invade the US? If youre born in America you get a front row seat.George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things.George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.George Carlin,Napalm & Silly Putty. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want: They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. Nobody seems to care. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. George Carlin, 34. One of comedian George Carlin's more notable quotes, pointing out a reality of American life is, "It's a big club, and you ain't in it." His words are a simple commentary on the ruling. if (isRetina) { Do share your thoughts with us in the comment section and tell us which one was your favoriteGeorge Carlin quotesor if you want to ask any questions or have any query send them viaContact Us. The future will soon be a thing of the past. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Its interested in its own power. gads.async = true; George Denis Patrick Carlin was born May 12, 1937, in the Bronx, New York. " Forget the politicians. If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality and its not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. George Carlin, 68. He was an American standup comedian. return null; Its a great feeling. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_hd_images-2b89833762f600506d44865a33582d11.css"; the important thing is to, first of all, question everything you read or hear or see or are told. A Death! The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? It can help you a lot.George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. 3140. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, 53. Theres no present. You have owners. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! In this blog post, weve compiled some of his most compelling quotes on the subject for you to consider as well! You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. (?) But did you ever notice that we have no war on homelessness? My first rule, I dont believe anything the government tells me And I dont take very seriously the media or the press in this country. George Carlin, 82. He made us notice the things we never did before in the form of his humor and this world will forever be grateful for this brilliant mind. The people are fucked. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. I look at war a little. if (sourcesToHideBuyFeatures[i] == source) Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. var ue_sn = "www.goodreads.com"; 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. Before, all you had to go by were these 14 quotes. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question what they read. Enjoy! apstag.init({ He loves you and he needs money. What do you get at the end of it? They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. The middle class pays all of the taxis, does all of the work. googletag.cmd.push(function() { They own everything. init: function() { And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. 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This made him outstanding. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, 22. Its no secret that George Carlin was a bit of a political philosopher. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain, All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another, "It's harder to be funny from the position of power. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, was an Americanstand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. A.src = t; Property is theft. Are these people kidding? Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, 4. "Everyone smiles in the same language." ~ (George Carlin). Just daydreaming. The challenge is to find it.George Carlin, I put a dollar in a change machine. Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? "Events.SushiEndpoint": "https://unagi.amazon.com/1/events/com.amazon.csm.csa.prod", Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. #government. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. George Carlin has many famous quotes about government, education and the American dream that are often referenced as truth. } Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldnt afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. We havent tried that for a while. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, 16. Interview with Todd Leopold, edition.cnn.com. The following quotes are some of the most thought provoking sentences youll ever read. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, 17. Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. The larger the group, the more toxic, the more of your beauty as an individual you have to surrender for the sake of group thought. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("surface", "mw"); George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.George Carlin,Brain Droppings, THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: Please stop sucking my dick or Ill call the police. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why?Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that.George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat.George Carlin. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Required fields are marked *. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. George Carlin, 70. George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. George Carlin, 5. }("apstag", window, document, "script", "//c.amazon-adsystem.com/aax2/apstag.js"); All rights reserved. I love individuals. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, 73. Hes just sayin that stuff. Good. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. var useSSL = "https:" == document.location.protocol; I have certain rules I live by. The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice., Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups., If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else., Political correctness cripples discourse, creates ugly language and is generally stupid., Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out., When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person., If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders., If you have selfish and ignorant citizens then you too will become a selfish and bad leader.. Don't forget to confirm subscription in your email. its only a symbol. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians. I love individuals. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. George Carlin Quotes Government George Carlin American Comedian born on May 12, 1937, died on June 22, 2008 George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). }); One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. If the parent corporation doesnt want you to know something, it wont be on the news. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14stand-up comedy specials on HBO taught us the power of words and how a person can use humor as a weapon. Nobody owns anything. George Carlin political quotes may seem sensitive, but they inspire necessary conversations. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. Looking for the best George Carlin quotes? It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. // Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. You dont. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. googletag.pubads().enableSingleRequest(); [CDATA[ I mean, life is tough. Showing 1-30 of 421 "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." George Carlin tags: humor , insanity , lies , lying , self-indulgence , truth 19588 likes Like "The planet is fine. Died: June 22, 2008 (aged 71) George Carlin Quotes . Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away. Really? Nothing changed.George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?George Carlin, I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. The people are fucked." George Carlin "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. That's the problem. Every day we present the best quotes! Save the planet! } We think in language. In this blog post, well take a look at some of Carlins most famous quotes on government. George Carlin's full name was George Denis Patrick Carlin. George Carlin Shitting on Government for 8 Minutes Straight LaughPlanet 900K subscribers Subscribe 42K 1.3M views 2 years ago #GeorgeCarlin #Comedy #America George Carlin Shitting on Government. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. George Carlin, 25. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. The less said about it the better. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reasonGeorge Carlin, They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. We made 'em up. g.parentNode.insertBefore(A, g) var googletag = googletag || {}; We cut education, in 50 years, well be so stack with idiots with shitty jobs that we wont have enough money to pay for defense! George Carlin, 85. George Carlin quotes on the American government In America, anyone can become president. It will be Nikesneakers and Smiley shirts. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, By and large, languageis a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres theself-helpsection? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. } else { Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. Your email address will not be published. Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. I have certain rules I live by.