I never even listen when you tell me them. I applaud your effort, but I think Im the only one in the audience. I do not consider you a vulture. I find the fact that youve lived this long both surprising and disappointing. Friends buy you lunch. A glowstick has a brighter future than you. Glad I could be of assistance. 100 Funny and Witty Replies to Rude Comments - PairedLife Too many have used this expression to invalidate the feelings of others by implying that the triggered one is overreacting to a prank or offensive remark. Fat-shaming is never appropriate even when you think youre only insulting yourself. 18 Fun Things to do in Kansas City in March - msn.com I know players in this game can be really toxic at times but that was definitely . Im jealous of all the people who havent met you. I must have been imagining things. I actually liked that one though. Being a little corny never hurt anybody. The Definitive Guide to Facial Expressions, Funny Things to Say on a Valentine's Card, Funny Things to Say When Someone Doesn't Text Back, Random Things to Say and Weird Things to Say, Key Takeaways: Make People Laugh by Saying Funny Things. Get the best comebacks and insults below: Here are the best insults to use on your worst enemies, or more importantly, your best friends: If youre going to use an insult, at least use a clever one. I dont have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you. Many people have been using ChatGPT and Bing chat to write long articles, poems, and even essays. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? And while men generally build bulky muscle more readily than women, the testosterone responsible for that doesnt make them stronger where it really counts. Dont place your self-worth in others hands. Id explain it to you but I left my English-to-Dumbass Dictionary at home. Therere many pessimists who got that way by investing in an optimist. Best friends eat your lunch. Additionally, he loves to write zany fiction stories and take care of his pet frog. Happy birthday! Oh youre talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back. But Ill keep trying. 11. Group assignments make me understand why Batman works alone. 100 Funny Things To Say - Parade: Entertainment, Recipes, Health, Life Youre so stupid it might sprain your brain. Im not an astronomer but I am pretty sure the earth revolves around the sun and not you. Forget about the presentI didnt get you one! Did you hear about the two bald guys who have put their heads together? He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut in his face. Your responses are so fast I cant keep up. A sense of humor is being able to laugh at something that would actually make you mad if it happened to you. Remember to vote for your favorite savage roast at the end and share it. Whats the best holiday present? "What's it like to be a failure?" 21. Roses are red; violets are blue. There are so many paths in life. If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one pretty. Youre enough of an asshat as it is. Your poor mama didn't have no choice. Id like to help you out. If you want to write something more unique before Happy Valentines Day, here are some cheesy lines. Are you from Tennessee? Thats your parents job. Youre entitled to your incorrect opinion. Happy Valentines Day, cutie! The assumption behind this statement is that the other person is overreacting to something or that the other person just loves drama or wants attention. Boring texts are the bane of everyones existence. Why not take today off? Once youve been on the receiving end, you have a better understanding of how powerful words can be both to build people up and to tear them down.. And may your thoughtfulness and compassion influence everything you do today. You can like for things to be perfectly in order and not be OCD. Her teeth were so bad she could eat an apple through a fence. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, Id be broke. If Your Mom Ever Says These 19 Things, She Might Be Toxic - Bustle The amount of meaningful things youve done in your life wouldnt be enough to fill a single page. So this page has all of the latest brutal roasts plus awesome bonus content. You have an entire life to be an idiot. The only person falling for you is blind. When I see your face, theres not a thing that I would change except the direction I was walking in. Being Liberal With the Insults. Using this line only exposes the mans powerlessness in the face of a woman who wont allow him to control, manipulate, or silence her. You may also enjoy a bonus video below about the celebrity roasters. Worry about your eyebrows. Im sure youll enjoy that bonus content. Dont worry. have you ever considered not trying to be an idiot? Share them whenever you get the chance! They host a movie night every . In the land of the witless, you would be king. Then I met you. You hear that? I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. 9 Look at that butt! Their apparent need for drama is their way of crying out for attention to something that has been ignored for too long. If you want anything done, ask a woman. Margaret Thatcher. Whether over text or IRL, infusing humor into daily conversations makes socializing much more fun and interesting. Everyone makes mistakes. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Your the reason god created the middle finger, You're entitled to your incorrect opinion, You should really take a trip to hell, and take your parents with you, if i was you ide donate myself to a thrift store because thats where cheep crap goess, sorry my internet is slow but atleast im happy its not as slow as your brain, Was you born on a highway? LETS BURY IT! Laughter is an essential people skill. Avoid jokes about sensitive or taboo topics and dont take it personally if someone doesnt think youre funny. Hey, I lost my phone, can you call it for me? I'm not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one. definitions. Unfortunately, the blueprints are messy, written in Mandarin, and waterlogged beyond all recognition. That was the day I decided you were my soulmate. 19 Reasons Why Hes Not Texting You, 89 Happy Sunday Blessings To Wish Those You Care About A Beautiful Day, 21 Soul-Crushing Signs He Is Not The One For You (Even If You Love Him), Guys, Dont Ignore These 17 Signs Of An Emotionally Immature Woman, 31 Ridiculous Things Covert Narcissists Say in an Argument, Because we see the other person as a bully or a monster, Because were hurting, and we want the other person to hurt, too. Can we go to the zoo? Ok, youre free to go. But, still. 14. OH MY GOD, Ive been waiting to hear from you all day. It just takes me a moment to process so much stupid information all at once. Send someone a text of a lottery ticket and tell them you just won $1,000,000. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? Get a good chuckle out of random telemarketing calls by surprising them with one of these ridiculous responses. It releases oxytocin, which can trigger all sorts of bonding responses in the human body. I asked AI-powered Bing chat 10 silly things about baseball and eating Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? Don't be ashamed of who you are-that's your parents' job. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. When you disappear, its a beautiful day. No, you want something witty, something to cut them to their core. No, no. Here are some hilarious one-liners and funny quotes to toss into your conversations. Sorry that I'm not playing my best right now." to which he responded, "I'm glad you lost him and I hope even more people in your family die, including yourself.". Good luck. Is part 2 of your argument coming out soon or is that it? what happened to you it looks like corona just hit un ur area. I forgot the world revolves around you. When playing online, not everything is going to go your way. "I feel so fat right now." Its the sound of me not caring. Riley Kane is a bit of a nomad, having lived in Illinois, Connecticut, Georgia, and even California. But midget is inaccurate, insulting, and never okay. You are so full of crap, the toilets jealous. Jinkx Monsoon. If Isaidanything to offend you it was purely intentional. If youre waiting for me to start care, I hope you brought something for eating, because its gonna be a long time. It'll give you a chance to see if they can take it as well as they can dish it out. I suggest you do a little soul searching. You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. Toxic synonyms - 345 Words and Phrases for Toxic - Power Thesaurus You can be anal about details and not OCD. 13. Yet even we introverts will sometimes refer to ourselves as antisocial when describing our behavior at social gatherings or our level of social energy at a particular moment. No, no. Chocolate milk comes from brown cows you know. When you disappear, its a beautiful day. Continue the joke, please. I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on. But then you wonder what you might be saying without intending to harm anyone that others find offensive or controversial. Id let you have the last french fry. Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you. That being said, allow me to redirect you to the discount section. It reminded me to take out the trash. Want some? I wish I had a flip phone, so I could slam it shut on this conversation. I really enjoy the silence of your company. "You're ugly when you're angry." 29. I was going to make a joke about your life, but I see life beat me to the punch. Roses are red, Foxes are clever. Hijo de las Mil Putas. Hey, you have something on your chin. Cherry Blossoms In . Youre the reason God created the middle finger. Is there an app I can download to make you disappear? Maybe we take some pleasure in finding a particularly apt insult for someone who has wronged us. You look so pretty. If looking good were a crime, you would have been arrested several times a day. If thats not love, I dont know what is. 17 Best Funny Discord Text to Speech (TTS) Messages and Voices Real friends pick us up when were down. Isnt it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence? synonyms. Ill know youre my best friend if you immediately delete my internet history after I die. My friend thinks hes smart. MENU. I gave out all my trophies a while ago, but heres a participation award. There may . The day a man makes me happier than chips and queso with a frozen margarita and my best friend is the day Ill get married. Because the older she gets, the more hell love her. Dismissing someone or something as gay is an insult to anyone with a homosexual orientation, because youre essentially using the word gay to mean bad or to refer to something you dont like. You have a lot in common with the wart on my toe: Youre hard to get rid of, and I cant stand the pain you bring me daily. adjectives. it can be hard to notice that insults are actually harmful not just playful fun. When was the last time you caught yourself using words that hurt someone else? The fact that someone wakes up to your face in the morning should be alarming. Whether youre trying to be more witty, flirty, or be seen as an amateur comedian, making people laugh is a social superpower. 50 Hurtful Insults For Your Ex When you Just Need To Be Mean - GLOW UP LIFE I have a present for you. The tenth is just humming. Because youve got my interest. I love that super cute thing you do when you dont reply for 10 hours. The people who know me the least have the most to say. Its the easy recourse of a coward who feels perfectly comfortable arrogantly dismissing the words of someone who isnt there to challenge him. I dont want to rain on your parade. Swallow your pride and your tongue while youre at it. There was some terrible traffic accident on the news today. 15. Aww, its so cute when you try to talk about things you dont understand. Dont get bitter, just get better. Alyssa Edwards. Youre not simply a drama queen. I like you just the way you are: uninspiring, uninteresting, and dreadfully unfunny. Decidedly more personal than You know what I hate? this immediately puts the other person on the defensive. Everyone brings happiness to a room. Ive always thought air was free. Two strands of DNA are walking down the street. The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. You must be tired because youve been walking through my mind all day. Neither does it make sense to call someone a success based on successes that dont ultimately define them.